I love this. The reason for it is probably that they live on the Equator with no electricity: sundown is 6.30, sunup is 6.30. Twelve hours of dark in which you can sleep, tell stories, sing, whatever, whenever. You'll still get your 8 hours.

I skimmed the Michael Dirda article, and I disagree with many of the authors' (and I'm assuming Dirda's) particular views on need, aggression, dependence, and independence, but I want to comment on the quote posted here. And as for self-kindness versus kindness toward others, it can really be demystified in a few simple sentences. This is the experience of every human being, at least initially: I care about myself, naturally. I don't want to hurt. I open my eyes and see another with whom I identify. That person is like me. That person feels, sees, needs, reaches. Like me. I don't want that person to hurt either. Conflicting needs aside, kindness isn't that much of a mystery. What corrupts us is perhaps less simply described, but kindness is basic and easy for me to grasp.

From a quote from the Dirda article - "There are people we feel affection for, and there are people with whom we have sex, and ne'er the twain shall meet."
It's the guilt and taboo that create conflict, not an unconscious knowledge of incest that equates with affection. However I believe this guilt and taboo are instilled and not natural or necessary. Freud's theory is a product of his own instilled guilt feelings. Still, sexuality is incredibly complicated, and who can say with all certainty that it's "ok" to do anything with anyone else? It's not ok to take advantage, and this really does rule out children. But who among us can define consent exactly, even between 2 adults who are not parent and child? God herself likely covers her eyes during the act and says "Jesus I hope I'm doing the right thing here". Actually, the results of the study on PTSD among prostitutes really resonated with me, and I believe there is a connection (God, sex, consent, lack of consent), not joking actually. But this does not assume an inherent guilt associated with mutually respectful pleasure-seeking or connection-seeking behavior.

I think Freud was confused, probably more than God is.

About what I read on this site about the kindness article:
I think you're accepting or maybe overlooking the cause of hatred too easily... I do not agree that hatred and anger are required for a relationship to "feel real". Any truly loving parent-child relationship can withstand negative emotion (although I will assert that a child, especially a baby, can understand and integrate far LESS hatred than a parent can bear coming from the child). But I have never believed that one needs the bad in order to appreciate the good or to know that the good is strong enough, which is what this sounds like, a little too much. Let me ask this. What makes the relationship feel more real? Well, here's the answer, probably: the fact that you do not have to fear being disowned or unloved because of hatred or frustration. Well, what would CAUSE you to fear being unloved or being rejected because of those feelings? Answer: the notion of this in the first place. Whose notion? It is the parent's threat in the first place that causes a relationship to feel tenuous and "less real" in the apprehension of negative feelings and their expression. Absent this threat, which is at the root of the fear and insecurity about the relationship, the child has no reason to need to exchange hatred and anger with a parent in order to feel secure. After all, it takes being hurt to make a person feel hate or rage. At least it takes conflict and misunderstanding, and I believe all relationships could do without these things as much as is possible. This is a common thread in so many parenting debates. Does the child (or any human being) actually seek limits to know limits? Does he actually fear whatever he hasn't yet "tested"? I would answer no, at least not most of the time, based on my own experience as a person and observing children. Jean Liedloff's observations would point to this too - the Yequana children did not "test limits".

Oh, are we commenting on The Continuum Concept only? I love The Continuum Concept. That book set me free.